Instant Messaging with the Cullens
by Hooliegirl96
Summary: The title says it all!
1. Chapter 1

So me and my friend Bethany, decided to make up a story for this… We hope you like it!

Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight…. L

Here are the screen names for each of the characters

**Alice- CullenCutie22**

**Jacob- WolfMan16**

**Esme- Sexy Momma32**

**Carlisle- Sexy Doc 300**

**Emmett- 2sexy4myshirt69 **

**Rosalie- Emmett's Chew Toy18**

**Renessme- Hybrid Chick **

**Jasper- GeneralControl**

**Edward- BellaIsMINE**

**Bella - ClumsyKlutz **

_**CullenCutie22 has entered chat roomSexy Momma32 has entered chat roomSexy Doc 300 has entered chat room2sexy4myshirt69 has entered chat roomEmmett's Chew Toy18 has entered chat roomGeneralControl has entered chat roomBellaIsMINE has entered chat roomClumsy Klutz has entered chat room **_

**CullenCutie22**: OMG, everyone's screen names fit the people perfectly! I love them!

**GeneralControl**: Yeah now Esme and Carlisle I have a question…. What's up with your screen names?

**Sexy Doc 300**: Well you r mother and I made them last night when we were in our rooms doing things....

**2sexy4myshirt69**: WHOA!!…. Stop**!** way too much info… I do NOT need to know about my parents' nightly activities

**BellaIsMINE**: Well that's unfair Emmett we can ALL hear what you and Rose do at night

**Emmett's Chew Toy18: **You don't need to be mad at us, Edward. At least, we ARE sexually active, unlike SOME people

**ClumsyKlutz**: STOP!!! This conversation has taken a REALLY weird, disgusting turn… and if you would like to talk about it some more, you can do it when I'm not here!

**CullenCutie22**: Yeah this is too much for me,…. Now, Emmett what is up with the name?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Well I'm sexy right…?

**CullenCutie22**: No… I wouldn't say so**...**

**2sexy4myshirt69**: :p, well I'm so sexy that I can't even wear my shirt, understand?

**CullenCutie22**: To a certain point, maybe...

**Emmett's Chew Toy18: **Well, I understand it *gives a seductive stare*

**2sexy4myshirt: **Mmmmhmmm *gives seductive stare back*

**BellaIsMINE**: Ew..., Anyway, is that why you've been walking around the house with no shirt on?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: now your starting to understand, and why were you looking?

**ClumsyKlutz: **I'm starting to think that no matter how long I know, or live with Emmett I will never fully understand him… ever

**BellaIsMINE**: Love, I've been with him for a while and I STILL don't understand him

**Sexy Doc300:Oh, **I must get going or I'll be late at the hospital, And this conversation was so interesting too. Have a good day, every one.

**Sexy Momma32: **Yes and I must get to my book club, good bye, be good and Emmett don't break any thing….

**2sexy4myshirt69: **Wait… what!?

**Sexy Momma32: **Like I said, don't let him brake any thing. now I'm off.

_Sexy Momma32 has exited chat room Sexy Doc 300 has exited chat room_**GeneralControl**: Smooth, Emmett, Smooth.

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Shut up!

_2sexy4myshirt69 has exited chat room Emmett's Chew Toy18 has exited chat room_

**BellaIsMINE**: Bella, love, You should be getting home for dinner.

**Clumsy Klutz**: Fine...=(

_BellaIsMINE has exited chat room Clumsy Klutz has exited chat room _

**GeneralControl**: Wanna go Hunting?

**CullenCutie22**: Sure!

_CullenCutie22 has exited chat room GeneralControl has exited chat room_

**So we hope you like it. We'll try to update every week, but ya know stuff happens sometimes so we'll see how it goes. Reviews of criticism, and helpings are greatly welcomed. As always please Review! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight…. Sadly… ****L**

Alice- CullenCutie22

Jacob- WolfMan16

Esme- Sexy Momma32

Carlisle- Sexy Doc 300

Emmett- 2sexy4myshirt69

Rosalie- Emmett's Chew Toy18

Renessme- Hybrid Chick

Jasper- GeneralControl

Edward- BellaIsMINE

Bella - Clumsy Klutz

_2sexy4myshirt69 has entered chat roomGeneralControl has entered chat room_

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Hey Jasspio, wanna do something fun?

**GeneralControl**: First off, DON'T CALL ME THAT! And Yeah,sure**, **but that depends on what kind of fun, not like last time where you got us thrown in jail…

**2sexy4myshirt69**: That was not my fault… well, maybe it was… but never mind….. I saw this thing today at the park… there were these two guys and they were in the parking lot and pushing a car back and forth! It looked SO awesome I want to try it! I bet I could push I farther than you!

**GeneralControl**: Do you know why they were doing it? And that's totally crazy! What type of human does this? And no way you could not throw it farther than me!

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Well they said they were doing it as a workout, I still think we should try it! Are you in?!?!?

**GeneralControl**: Fine but when? And where?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Well our driveway IS pretty long**...** let's do it there!

**GeneralControl **:Ahh yes**,** but do NOT tell anyone and don't think about it eitherwith Edward around! He's such a dick when it comes to fun things like this.

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Sure, Got that right! Well what about that pixie of your's? She can see the future! What we gonna do about _her_?

**GeneralControl**: Well, ALICE won't be able to see us yet because we haven't picked when; and besides I can keep her busy… if you know what I mean**... **

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Fine. we'll do it later today, butdon't tell anyone about it! And yeah, eww don't need to hear that!

**GeneralControl**: I'm fine with that Emmie Bear!

**2sexy4myshirt69**: JASPER!!

**GeneralControl**: Better run see you later! (lol)

_GeneralControl has exited chat room_

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Mark my words, Jasper I will get you!

_2sexy4myshirt has exited chat room_

(Later on in the day)

_General J 225 has entered chat room2sexy4myshirt69 has entered chat roomCullenCutie22 has entered chat roomClumsyKlutz has entered chat roomBellaIsMINE has entered chat roomEmmett's Chew Toy18 has entered chat room_

**CullenCutie22**: Hi everyone!

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Oh I'm just _oh so_ happy today Alice!

**Emmett's Chew Toy18**: Emmett what did you do? Your too overly happy… what did you break?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: NOTHING!!! And I find that offensive! Why would yousay that, Rosie?

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: First off, I hate being called Rosie. And second, because, Em you have a history of doingthings like that

**2sexy4myshirt69**: No I don-…. Wait yeah I do**, **never mind!**…..** HATS!

**GeneralControl**: CATS!

**2sexy4myshirt69**: I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car! I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!

**GeneralControl**: He's my best friend best of all best friends, do you have a best friend too?

**BellaIsMINE**: What areyou talking about?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Pickles**...**

**BellaIsMINE**: Wait….. Why are you blocking your mind from me?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: To distract everyone**...**

**GeneralControl**: Emmettie now!

**2sexy4myshirt: **Revenge is needed**!**

_General J 225 is now away2sexy4myshirt69 is now away_

**CullenCutie22**: Well, that was odd, what was up with the whole pickles thing? Isn't that human food?… Rosalie, there's a sale at the mall in like an hour! Want to go?

**Emmett's Chew Toy18**: OMG, really? Let's go! We'll get shoes and clothes and make up and other girl stuff! I can't wait!

**BellaIsMINE**: I well never understand a women's obsession with shopping… It confuses me

**Clumsy Klutz**: I am a woman and it STILL confuses me…

**BellaIsMINE**: And that's why I love you *kisses Bella on forehead*

**ClumsyKlutz**: Is that the ONLY reason?

**BellaIsMINE**: Yes…. Uhh I mean, no! Bella I love your… um hair? Maybe, please….?

**ClumsyKlutz**: Yay, I'm loved!

**BellaIsMINE**: *tries to say under breath but fails* hehe stupid

**ClumsyKlutz**: What?

**BellaIsMINE**: Nothing…

*loud bang and then Emmett's Jeep comes crashing through the wall, and you see Jasper and Emmett with surprised looks on their faces*

**Everyone**: WTF?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Ha! I told you I could throw it farther!

**There's the 2****nd**** chapter, hope it was funnier than the last one. Also news we also have this story on , so tell your fan fiction friends and your friends that have quizilla, so review and spread the news of the story! **

_Erin, and Bethany_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight or the characters**

Alice- CullenCutie22

Jacob- WolfMan16

Esme- Sexy Momma32

Carlisle- Sexy Doc 300

Emmett- 2sexy4myshirt69

Rosalie- Emmett's Chew Toy18

Renessme- Hybrid Chick

Jasper- GeneralControl

Edward- BellaIsMINE

Bella - ClumsyKlutz

_CullenCutie22 has entered chat room 2sexy4myshirt69 has entered chat room Emmett'sChewToy18 has entered chat room GeneralControl has entered chat room BellaIsMINE has entered chat room _

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Hey so Edward I forgot to ask you this the other time we were on… what's with the name?

**BellaIsMINE**: What do you mean?

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Well it kind of makes you seem like a…. never mind

**2sexy4myshirt69**2: It makes you seem like a creeper!

**GeneralControl**: A 107 year old virgin creeper

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Yeah that's true… come on Edward even creeper's these days aren't virgins any more! Get with the times, dude!

**CullenCutie22**: Hah! Sucks to be Edward

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Yeah, it would suck to be anyone who's over 100 and can't get some action.

**BellaIsMINE**: Well I can with Bella but I choose not to

**Emmett'sChewToy18: **So that's means your gay?

**BellaIsMINE**: I did not say that!

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Yeah you did

**CullenCutie22**: Technically, you did!

**BellaIsMINE**: Well, Rose what's up with your name? Huh?

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Well, this is something that has to do with something that you have no experience with, so you wouldn't understand it any of the words I would use

**BellaIsMINE: **Whatever, I'm going to go see Bella.

_BellaIsMINE has exited chat room_

**CullenCutie22**: So, do you boys want to explain the "whole car through the wall" thing before Esme and Carlisle get home?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Well, I was at the park and saw these strong dudes. They were pushing a car back and forth. It seemed like fun so, we wanted to try it.

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: And why did you push the car through the house?

**GeneralControl**: Well it wasn't me per say…. It was Emmett

**2sexy4myshirt**: Dude… why?

**GeneralControl**: Because dude she would've kill me…

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Dude, it's times like these we got to stick together.

**GeneralControl**: No! Dude every man for himself

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Dude???? How could you???

**CullenCutie22**: GUYS!!!!

**GeneralControl**: Oh, sorry

**2sexy4myshirt**: Sorry babe.

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Try explaining that to Carlisle and Esme

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Oh yeah that… *gulp*

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Alice? You realize we don't have to be here.

**CullenCutie22**: huh?

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: We can leave, then come back in a few hours and act like we know nothing about it.

**CullenCutie22**: Yes, let's do it!

_Emmett'sChewToy18 has exited chat room CullenCutie22 has exited chat room_

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Shit…

**GeneralControl**: Damn… Esme is home…

**2sexy4myshirt69**: what do you think she'll do to us…?

**GeneralControl**: Maybe she'll rip us apart, then watch us connect together, while laughing, then do it again

**2sexy4myshirt69**: *gulp* maybe she'll make us eat human food, not hunt for a year… or worse… clean the house… *shudder*

_Sexy Momma32 has entered chat room _

**Sexy Momma32**: Hello boys this is such a love- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY WALL!!!!!????? EMMETT!!!

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Why does everyone always think it was me???

**Sexy Momma32**: Well was it?

**GeneralControl**: Yes it was all him, I had nothing to do with it.

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Dude… why? What did we talk about earlier? And he so had something to do with it!

**GeneralControl: **Yeah we talked about everyman for himself

**2sexy4myshirt69**: no dude we talked about sticking togeth-

**Sexy Momma32**: BOYS!!!!!

**GeneralControl**: Yes mother dearest who is the best-er-iest mommy in the whole entire world?!

**Sexy Momma32**: Don't try to sweet talk your way out of this JUST WAIT till your father gets home! You will be in so much trouble, and you will be grounded for so long that after awhile you will not remember why you are grounded! And then I will PAINFULLYremind you!

**2sexy4myshirt69**: What else are you going to do?

**Sexy Momma32**: Well, no Rose and Alice for a whole 3 months.. And….

**2sexy4myshirt69**: NOOOOO!!!!! I NEED TO HAVE ROSE EVERYDAY… WE'VE NEVER BEEN APART THIS COULD END IN ME BLOWING UP OR SOMETHING! I COULD GO CRAZY AND DIE!! NOOO!!! I'M MELTING, MELTING, MELTING!!!!

**Sexy Momma32**: Emmett!!!! Well I'm going to make the both of you get jobs, then my second best punishment so far… for every human meal that is ate will be eating the same amount as that person, and let's just say that this person is a very fat human!!!! *insert evil laugh here* Just wait till your father gets home… just wait… and it won't take long my little pretties… I can wait forever to get revenge, I mean punishment on you two! *insert another Esme evil laugh*

_Sexy Momma32 has exited chat room _

**GeneralControl**: Well that was weird….

**2sexy4myshirt69**: You think? Hey! Wanna go hunting before we are confined to our rooms forever?

**GeneralControl**: Yeah sure why not, we probably won't be able to go hunting in a while so sure!

_GeneralControl has exited chat room 2sexy4myshirt69 has exited chat room _

**Haha that was fun to write, we hope you enjoyed it, the next chapter will be when Carlisle and the rest of the Cullens (including Bella) get back to the house. And yes we did try to put the Wizard of Oz in there… why I do not know… So please review, and tell us when you want Renessme to be born and that does mean Bella will become a vampire. So ending the author note because we all hate them… REVIEW! (And tell your friends too!)**

_**Erin, Bethany**_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: No, sadly we do not own Twilight…

**Alice- CullenCutie22Jacob- WolfMan16Esme- Sexy Momma32Carlisle- Sexy Doc 300Emmett- 2sexy4myshirt69 Rosalie- Emmett's Chew Toy18Renessme- Hybrid Chick Jasper- GeneralControlEdward- BellaIsMINEBella - Clumsy Klutz **

_**Sexy Momma32 has entered chat room Sexy Doc 300 has entered chat room 2sexy4myshirt69 has entered chat room GeneralControl has entered chat room **_

**Sexy Momma32**: CARLISLE!!!! LOOK WHAT THE BOYS DID TO MY WALL!!!!

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Yo mom! Just chill your boner...

**Sexy Momma32**: EXCUSE ME?! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?

**GeneralControl**: Basically he's telling you to calm down.

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Yeah I mean the other guys could've stopped us but they just sat on their lazy asses and watched, then ran away right before you got home…

**Sexy Doc 300**: So this is their fault as much as it is your?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Um...yes?

**Sexy Momma32**: Fine, me and your father are going to look at jobs for you two… and I will talk with your siblings

**Sexy Doc 300**: And is Bella involved with this?

*Jasper and Emmett look at each other and nod*

**GeneralControl**: Sure why not

_Sexy Momma32 is now away Sexy Doc 300 is now away _

**GeneralControl**: You realize what we just did right?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Yeah we just got our selves out of a wholelot trouble… HIGH FIVE! WOO!

**GeneralControl**: No we got ourselves into more trouble then we can imagine

**2sexy4myshirt69**: What you talkin bout, Jasper....?

**GeneralControl**: We just put some of the blame on Rose, Alice, Edward, and Bella

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Dude… we just got ourselves into a shit load of trouble, why didn't you stop me!?

**GeneralControl**: The damage had already been done

**2sexy4myshirt69**: No wait, we can be hitch hikers, then we can catch a ride with the circus, become lion tamers and we'll be fine they'll never know any thing!

**GeneralControl**: Dude snap out of it!

**2sexy4myshirt69**: why we need to plan quick!

**GeneralControl**: To late Esme's back

**2sexy4myshirt69**: dammit….

_Sexy Momma32 is back from awaySexy Doc 300 is back from away_

**Sexy Doc 300**: Boys we have found a job for you to do, it starts in 15 minutes, it's 20 minutes away, but the way you drive you should make it there in time

**GeneralControl**: What type of job is it?

**Sexy Momma32**: Your working at a day care center, now get out of my house… NOW!

_GeneralControl has exited chat room 2sexy4myshirt69 has exited chat room _

**Sexy Momma32**: Now let's go find the other children

**Sexy Doc 300**: Ok let's go love

_Sexy Doc 300 has exited chat room Sexy Momma32 has exited chat room _

(At daycare center)

_2sexy4myshirt69 has gone mobile GeneralControl has gone mobile _

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Well here we are…. God I can't believe Esme is making us do this….

**GeneralControl**: I can

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Well you know what I mean.. well here goes nothing

(After the day is done… or actually after they get fired)

**GeneralControl**: Dude Esme's gonna kill you

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Not necessarily

**GeneralControl**: YOU PUSHED A HUMAN CHILD THROUGH A WALL!!! You know she loves children!

**2sey4myshirt69**: First Off, we repaired the wall before any one could notice and the little dude is fine, and I found us another job…

**GeneralControl**: And that would be?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: SINGING!!!!!

**GeneralControl**: singing? Why?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Cause… Well our first gig is tonight… so let's pick out

some songs… oh and we should sing a song together… um what do they call it?… a duet!!! Yeah

**GeneralControl**: Fine if that means that Esme won't kill us that much! I'm fine with it

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Ok let's go get ready!

_General Control is now away 2sexy4myshirt69 is now away _

(Back at the house with everyone besides Emmett and Jasper)

_Sexy Momma32 has entered chat room Sexy Doc 300 has entered chat room CullenCutie22 has entered chat room Emmett'sChewToy18 has entered chat room BellaIsMINE has entered chat room ClumsyKlutz has entered chat room _

**CullenCutie22**: Why are we getting in trouble for this? I mean we didn't do this

**Sexy Doc 300**: Because, Emmett and Jasper said you guys knew about it and didn't stop them!

*Phone ringing*

**Sexy Momma32**: I'll be right back

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: God this sucks!

**Sexy Momma32**: That was the daycare center they asked to come down , now you kids better be good, now good bye

_Sexy Momma32 has exited chat room Sexy Doc 300 has exited chat room _

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: God, this never used to happen…

**CullenCutie22**: Yeah I wonder what is wrong with them… I mean they never did this before Bella was around. Now that she was accepted, they've gone crazy

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: It was you! I knew it!, Bella you better run *growls*

**BellaIsMINE**: Now hold on! This is not her fault!!!!

**CullenCutie22**: Yeah huh

**BellaIsMINE**: Nah uh

**CullenCutie22**: Yeah huh

**BellaIsMINE**: Nah uh

**CullenCutie22**: YEAH HUH!!!!

**BellaIsMINE**: NUH UH!!!!!

**CullenCutie22**: NUH UH!!!!!!!!!

**BellaIsMINE**: YEAH HUH!!!!!!!!!!!

**CullenCutie22**: HAH! You agreed!

**BellaIsMINE**: Damn…

*Loud crunching sounds and screams coming from the other room*

**CullenCutie22**: Holy Shi*, Rosalie why is there blood everywhere, and where's Bella and OMG you got blood on my new pillow! You are **SO** going down!

**BellaIsMINE**: You killed her!!! How could you?

_BellaIsMINE is now away _

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Wait Edward…

**BellaIsMINE is away**:_ She was my only love… oh well… whatever_

**CullenCutie22**: That was odd

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: No ya know what's weird

**CullenCutie22**: What?

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: When I ate Bella, I opened her head. It was hollow, then the rest was really easy… oh and when I got to her legs they were really floppy, like their was no bone in there

**CullenCutie22**: Maybe that was why she fell down all the time…

**Emmett'sChewToy18**:Yeah that must be it

* Alice is having a vision*

**CullenCutie22**: OMG the boys got a job, then they got fired because Emmett pushed a kid through a wall then they got another job as singers and they have a show tonight… we should go!

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Wait they pushed some kid through a wall…?

**CullenCutie22**: Yeah I guess. They really don't like walls today.

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Odd…

**CullenCutie22**: Yes very… OMG guess what Edward's doing…

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: What?

**CullenCutie22**: He's in his room trying to think of pick up lines so he can get a new girl...

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Like that will happen

**CullenCutie22**: Nope, never

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Ha yeah, now come help me clean up this blood

**CullenCutie22**: OK

_CullenCutie22 has exited chat room Emmett'sChewToy18 has exited chat room _

**BellaIsMINE**: I lost Bella my real love… nah whatever

_BellaIsMINE has logged off _

**Haha Rosalie ate Bella, and Bella will be back, because we have the power to do that… Review… please? Tell Friends… please?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight**

_GeneralControl is now mobile_

_2sexy4myshirt69 is now mobile _

**GeneralControl**: Dude, what should we sing tonight, yo?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Um, okay... and I think the family is coming down so let's give them a little show. *Raises eyebrows repeatedly*

**GeneralControl**: And by show you mean?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Well when everyone sees us they think we probably sing some songs about girls, and sex, and money, well why don't we sing other songs that are the total opposite….

**GeneralControl**: So your saying we should sing songs that females wrote.

**2sexy4myshirt69: **Mhmmmm *Raises eyebrows*

**GeneralControl**: Well that's one thing that I've never done20before… let's give it a shot!

**2sexy4myshirt69**: And I got the perfect songs to sing!

*****On Stage***** (We couldn't do this in IM…)

**Jasper**: Ok, I'm Jasper… this is my home boy Emmett and we're gonna sing songs… yay

*****Backstage*****

**Emmett**: Yeah.. eww that smelly smell. It's the type of smelly smell that smells...smelly… I mean… we gotta go back stage… and fix the microphones…

**Jasper**: Did you smell that?

**Emmett**: You mean the dog?

**Jasper**: No the apple cinnamon pie… OF COURSE THE DOG!

**Emmett**: He better leave

**Jasper: **Wait… is this its territory or not? Cause if it is we're in big trouble if it's their's

**Emmett**: how?

**Jasper**: Remember last time?

**Emmett**: Of course how could I…. no not really

**Jasper**: You ended up in jail… with the smelly hobo

**Emmett**: Oh yeah Joe… he's my best friend

**Jasper**: How

**Emmett**: Well when your in jail… a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do

**Jasper**: Never mind, let's go

*****On Stage*****

**Emmett**: Yeah now let's begin the night… Jasper will go first.

**Jasper **:

Remember those walls I builtWell, baby they're tumbling down _(Falls to the ground covering his face)_And they didn't even put up a fightThey didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in But I never really had a doubt _(Shakes his head as a no)_Standing in the light of your halo _(Looks up as a beam of light falls upon him)_

I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened _(Starts to stretch as if waking up) _Every rule I had you breakin'It's the risk that I'm takin' _(Makes fist and pulls them closer to his body)_

I ain't never gonna shut you out (_Shakes his finger) _

Everywhere I'm looking now _(Looks left, right)_I'm surrounded by your embrace _(Hugs himself)_Baby I can see your halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and moreIt's written all over your faceBaby I can feel your haloPray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo _(Twirles around like a little girl, with arms out)_I can see your halo halo haloI can feel your halo halo haloI can see your halo halo halo

Hit me like a ray of sun (_Holds his heart)_Burning through my darkest nightYou're the only one that I wantThink I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again (_Shakes his head no)_But this don't even feel like fallingGravity can't forgetTo pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened Every rule I had you breakin'The risk that I'm takin'I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now (_Looks right, left_)I'm surrounded by your embrace (_Hugs self_)Baby I can see your haloYou know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and moreIt's written all over your faceBaby I can feel your haloPray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo(_Twirles again_)I can see your halo halo haloI can feel your halo halo haloI can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo _(Twirles again, again_)I can see your halo halo haloI can feel your halo halo haloI can see your halo halo haloHalo, halo

Everywhere I'm looking now _(Looks left, right)_I'm surrounded by your embraceBaby I can see your haloYou know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and moreIt's written all over your faceBaby I can feel your haloPray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo haloI can see your halo halo haloI can feel your halo halo haloI can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo haloI can see your halo halo haloI can feel your halo halo haloI can see your halo halo halo

**Emmett**: *****Says through a laugh***** Um… hah that was enjoyable…

**Jasper**: Beat that Emmett

**Emmett**: Oh I will

**Emmett**:

Lalalalala _(Shakes his hips) _

Oh baby baby Have you seen Amy tonight? _(Looks around) _Is she in the bathroom Is she smokin' up outside

Oh

Oh baby baby Does she take a piece of lime For the drink that Imma buy her Do you know just what she likes

Oh

Oh Oh Tell me have you seen her Because I'm so

Oh I can't get her off of my brain

I just want to go to the party she gonna go Can somebody take me home

Ha ha he ha ha ho

Love me hate me _(Hugs self, then throws arms out) _Say what you want about me But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy (_Hip thurst) _

Love me hate me But can't you see what I see All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy

Lalalalalala

Amy told me that she's gonna meet me up I don't know where or when and now they're closing up the club Oh

I've seen her want to drive before she knows my face But it's hard to see with all the people standing in the way _(Puts hand on forehead and tries looks around)_

Oh

Oh oh Tell me have you seen her Because I'm so

Oh I can't get her off of my brain

I just want to go to the party she's gonna go Can somebody take me home

Ha ha he ha ha ho

Love me hate me Say what you want about me _(Shakes Finger)_But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy

Love me hate me But can't you see what I see All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy _(Hip thrust) _

Oh So what you want about me Oh But can't you see what I see Oh So what you want about me

So tell me if you've seen her Cause I've been waiting here forever Oh baby baby

If You Seek Amy tonight Oh Oh baby baby We'll do whatever you like _(Gives seductive smile)_Oh baby baby baby Oh baby baby baby

Lalalalalala

Lalalalalala

Love me hate me So what you want about me But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy

Love me hate me But can't you seek what I see _(Puts hands up in a questioning motion)_All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy Love me hate me so what you want about me

Love me hate me

But can't you see what I see All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy

Oh So what you want about me Oh

But can't you see what I see Oh So what you want about me

All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy

**Jasper**: Ok I must admit that was adequate… wtf that was friggen hilarious, good job

**Emmett**: Yes I know

**Jasper**: Ok stop being all cocky, you weren't that great, I could do better

**Emmett**: Fine… audience, at the end of the night write either my name or

Jasper's name for whoever did better…. Even though we already know who's gonna win…

**Jasper**: ME!

**Emmett**: o_0.… nope, but play the music anyway

**Jasper: **

You change your mind _(Points to crowd)_Like a girl changes clothes _(Runs hand down side) _Yeah, you PMS like a bitch _(Points to the crowd then flips them off) _

I would know _(Points to self) _

And you over think _(Points to crowd) _Always speak cryptically I should know That you're no good for me _(Shakes Finger) _

'Cause you're hot then you're cold _(Uses hand as a fan, then hugs self)_You're yes then you're no _(Thumbs up, then down)_You're in and you're out You're up and you're down You're wrong when it's right It's black and it's white We fight, we break up

We kiss, we make up _(Blows a kiss, then hugs self) _

You, you don't really wanna stay, no You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

'Cause you're hot then you're cold _(Repeats all motions) _You're yes then you're no You're in and you're out You're up and you're down

We used to be just like twins, so in sync The same energy now's a dead battery Used to laugh 'bout nothing Now you're plain boring

I should know That you're not gonna change

'Cause you're hot then you're cold (_Repeats all motions_)You're yes then you're no You're in and you're out You're up and you're down You're wrong when it's right It's black and it's white We fight, we break up We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no

You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

You're hot then you're cold You're yes then you're no You're in and you're out You're u p and you're down

Someone call the doctor _(Uses a hand phone)_Got a case of a love bipolar Stuck on a rollercoaster (_Goes up and down with hand_)Can't get off this ride

You change your mind _(Repeats opening motions)_Like a girl changes clothes

'Cause you're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no You're in and you're out You're up and you're down You're wrong when it's right It's black and it's white We fight, we break up We kiss, we make up

'Cause you're hot then you're cold You're yes then you're no You're in and you're out You're up and you're down You're wrong when it's right It's black and it's white We fight, we break up We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

You're hot then you're cold You're yes then you're no You're in and you're out You're up and you're down

**Emmett**: hehe that was funny to watch, but prepare to be blown away!

**Jasper**: I'll watch but I won't be blown away

**Emmett**:

I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarfWhile jacking off listening to MozartYou bitch and moan about LAWishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway

You don't eat meatAnd drive electrical cars _(Pretends to be holding a steering wheel)_You're so into your rock it's almost an art You need SPF 45 just to stay alive

You're so gay and you don't even like boys _(Shakes fingers)_No you don't even likeNo you don't even likeNo you don't even like boys _(Repeat)_You're so gay and you don't even like boysNo you don't even likeNo you don't even likeNo you don't even like…

You're so sad maybe you should buy a happy mealYou're so skinny you should really Super Size the deal _(Makes an hour glass motion)_Secretly you're so amusedThat nobody understands you

I'm so mean cause I cannot get you outta your headI'm so angry cause you'd rather MySpace insteadI can't believe I fell in love with someone that wears more makeup than…

You're so gay and you don't even like boys _(Repeat motions)_No you don't even likeNo you don't even likeNo you don't even like boysYou're so gay and you don't even like boysNo you don't even likeNo you don't even likeNo you don't even like…

You walk around like you're oh so debonair (_Does priss walk)_You pull 'em down and there's really nothing thereI wish you would just be real with me

You're so gay and you don't eve n like boys _(Repeat motions)_No you don't even likeNo you don't even likeNo you don't even like boys

You're so gay and you don't even like boysNo you don't even likeNo you don't even likeOh no no no no no no no

You're so gay and you don't even like boysNo you don't even likeNo you don't even likeNo you don't even like boys

You're so gay and you don't even like boysNo you don't even likeNo you don't even likeNo you don't even like… PENIS

**Jasper**: No I think your wrong, Emmett, you do like that!

**Emmett**: -_-

**Jasper**: Well we're gonna end the night with a duet

**Jasper**:

All the single ladies _(Shakes hips up and down)_All the single ladies All the single ladies All the si ngle ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies

**Emmett**:

Now put your hands upUp in the club, we just broke up _(Does a hand jive like thing)_I'm doing my own little thingyou Decided to dip but now you wanna tripCuz another brother noticed meI'm up on him, he up on medont pay him any attentioncuz i cried my tears, for three good yearsYa can't be mad at me

**Jasper**: Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it _(Hold up ring finger)_If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on itDon't be mad once you see that he want itIf you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on itwo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ohwo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh

Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it _(Bounces up and down)_If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on itDon't be mad once you see that he want itIf you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it

**Emmett**: got gloss on my lips, a man on my hipshold me tighter than my Dereon jeansacting up, drink in my cupI couldnt care less what you think _(Points to head)_I need no permission, did I mentionDont pay h im any attentionCuz you had your turnBut now you gonna learnWhat it really feels like to miss me _(Points to self) _

**Jasper**: Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it _(Holds up ring finger)_If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on itDon't be mad once you see that he want itIf you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it

woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh 2x

Don't treat me to be queen of this worldI'm not that kind of girl _(Shakes finger)_Your love is what I prefer, what I deserveIs a man that makes me, then takes meAnd delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond

Pull me into your arms _(Holds arms open)_Say I'm the one you ownIf you don't, you'll be aloneAnd like a ghost I'll be gone

**Emmett**: All the single ladies _(Shakes hips up and down)_All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies

Now put your hands upwoo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ohwoo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh

**Jasper**: Cuz if you liked it then you should have p ut a ring on it _(Ring Finger up)_If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on itDon't be mad once you see that he want itIf you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it

**Both**: Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it _(Bouncing and running around on the stage like little girls)_If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on itDon't be mad once you see that he want itIf you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it woo oh ooh

**Emmett**: Ok now we are done…

**Jasper**: But remember…. VOTE!! *Runs off stage quickly*

*****Backstage*** **

**Emmett**: Hehe what do you think they'll say about the performance?

**Jasper**: We'll let's find out

**A/N :Haha that was fun… and we really do want you vote on who did better… Emmett… or Jasper? Tell in a review… thanks… Next chapter will have Jacob!**

_Erin, Bethany _


	6. Chapter 6

***I don't own Twilight***

**Alice- CullenCutie22**

**Jacob- WolfMan16**

**Esme- Sexy Momma32**

**Carlisle- Sexy Doc 300**

**Emmett- 2sexy4myshirt69 **

**Rosalie- Emmett's Chew Toy18**

**Renessme- Hybrid Chick **

**Jasper- GeneralControl**

**Edward- BellaIsMINE**

**Bella – ClumsyKlutz**

_**WolfMan16 has entered. ClumsyKlutz has entered**_

**Wolfman16**: THERE!

**ClumsyKlutz**: What?

**WolfMan16**: I said "wow Bella those blood suckers you hang out with are gay. Come over to La Push and hang with a real man."

**ClumsyKlutz**: Ok and….?

**WolfMan16**: Well you answered "Give me proof their gay and I'll forget Edward and go with you"

**ClumsyKlutz**:…oh shit…but what's your proof?

**WolfMan16**: That little performance your bloodsuckers put on last night. Btw who won?

**ClumsyKlutz**: Jasper

**WolfMan16**: Haha Quil owes me 20 bucks!

**ClumsyKlutz**: -_- and…

**WolfMan16**: Well with that said and done you must be with me now cause I have my proof.

**ClumsyKlutz**: Damn… give me a day to pack?

**WolfMan16**: YES! *VICTORY DANCE* UNTIL THEN MY SWEETHEART!

_WolfMan16 has exited._

_BellaIsMINE has entered._

**BellaIsMINE**: Hello Bella my love my only love. Who I know would never leave me for some dog. And if she did I would prolly kill myself.

**ClumsyKlutz**: about that….

**BellaIsMINE**: WHAT? HOW COULD YOU? I LOVED YOU!

**ClumsyKlutz**: I know but but but…. It wasn't my fault! It it was Emmett and Jasper!

**BellaIsMINE**: HOW COULD YOU? YOU CHEATING WHORE!

_CullenCutie22, GeneralControl, Emmett'sChewToy18, 2sexy4myshirt69 have entered chat room._

_BellaIsMINE has exited the chat room._

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: HA I ALWAYS KNEW SHE WAS A NO GOOD HUMAN! LET'S EAT HER!

**CullenCutie22**: Bella I suggest you run… NOW

_ClumsyKlutz has exited chat room._

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: ALICE WHY DID YOU DO THAT? SHE'S GETTING AWAY!

**CullenCutie22**: Cause what if they get back together, like last time?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: FLASHBACK TIME!

**ClumsyKlutz**: HOW COULD YOU EDWARD?

**BellaIsMINE**: Darling just calm

**ClumsyKlutz**: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN SPARKLE BOY!

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Oh that was low….

**ClumsyKlutz**: EMMETT! GET OUT!

**2sexy4myshirt69**: PMS much? God

**ClumsyKlutz**: EMMETT!

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Leaving….

**BellaIsMINE**: Bella chill your boner!

**ClumsyKlutz**: Excuse me! Are you inferring that I'm a man?

**BellaIsMINE**: No not a man

**ClumsyKlutz**: ok good

**BellaIsMINE**: But not a lady

**ClumsyKluz**: WHAT?

**BellaIsMINE**: A MAN-LADY!

**ClumsyKlutz**: God Edward that its. We're through.

**BellaIsMINE**: WAIT BELLA NO!

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Bella did over-react.

**GeneralControl**: Yeah I mean all he did was invite Jessica over to a party

**CullenCutie22**: But it wasn't just any party guys

**GeneralControl**: Oh we know ;) Emmett… they had a…

**2sexy4myshirt69**: PARTY IN HIS PANTS!

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Hehe Emmett, speaking of that… ;)

**2sexy4myshirt69**: oh let's

**CullenCutie22**: Wait! Forget whatever sexual thing you guys had planned!

**2sexy4myshirt69**: um WHY WOULD I DO THAT? I'M NOT GAY LIKE EDWARD!

**CullenCutie22**: Exactly! We're gonna find that out!

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: WHAT? HOW?

**CullenCutie22**: The wolves have something planned.

**GeneralControl**: Oh let's go! Haha and Emmett guess what!

**2sexy4myshirt69**: what?

**GeneralControl**: The club dude called! And I won! :D

**2sexy4myshirt69**: WHAT? DO THOSE PEOPLE NOT KNOW TALENT! I BET IT WAS THE WOLVES! OH I'LL KILL EM! I'LL KILL THEM!

**CullenCutie22**: Emmett calm down and let's go.

_2sexy4myshirt69, Emmett'sChewToy18, CullenCutie22, and GeneralControl have exited chat room._

*****_and now here are the wolves__*****_

**Jacob- WolfMan16**

**Jared-JareBear45**

**Sam- Alpha01**

**Seth-CullenBuddie7**

**Leah-WolfGirl2**

_WolfMan16, CullenBuddie7, WolfGirl2, JareBear45 have entered chat room._

**WolfGirl2**: Ugh! Jacob change your name!

**WolfMan16**: why?

**WolfGirl2**: Ours are too much alike.

**WolfMan16**: MAKE ME!

**WolfGirl2**: I will. I"ll kill ya

**CullenBuddie7**: Guys just stop fighting!

**WolfGirl2**: Excuse Me! God this sucks! AND WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YOUR NAME!

**WolfMan16**: Yea I gotta agree with that.

**CullenBuddie7**: Well I like them their nice people.

**WolfMan16**: THEIR NOT PEOPLE THEIR BLOODSUCKING EVIL CREATURES OF THE NIGHT!

**WolfGirl2**: Nah they aren't that bad-ass I mean they do sparkle

**WolfMan16**: That's true, that's true.

**JareBear45**: Guys Sam's coming.

**WolfMan16**: Dude? What's up with your name?

**JareBear45**: …Kim made it…..

**WolfGirl2**: HAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHA

_Alpha01 has entered._

**Alpha01**: Yes Jacob, you're allowed

**WolfMan16**: WHOOOO HOOOO! SHE'S MINE!

**WolfGirl2**: This is all very confusing.

**Alpha01**: Jacob is going to try to win Bella over by an old pack ritual.

**CullenBuddie7**: Which is?

**Alpha01**: You'll see… and btw we'll discuss your name later.

**JareBear45**: But wait I'm confused. How are you being given this option.

**WolfMan16**: Well remember that show we went to?

**JareBear45**: Yeah, the one with the cross dressers…?

**WolfGirl2**: HAHAH

**WolfMan16**: Yeah well they looked gay and I made this bet with Bella about their gayness and I won so yeah

**Alpha01**: Now all the Cullens will be there, so we need everyone also in case things go bad. Where are Quil, Paul, and Embry?

**JareBear45**: Quil is with Clare and Embry, and Paul is with Rebecca.

**Alpha01**: Ok get them, we meet in an hour.

_Alpha01 has exited._

**JareBear45**: Wait Jacob. Who won?

**WolfMan16**: Jasper

**JareBear45**: Who?

**WolfMan16**: The not so big guy, with the blonde hair.

**JareBear45**: Hah! Pay up Leah!

_WolfMan16, CullenBuddie7, WolfGirl2, JareBear45 have exited chat room._

***Hehe that was fun to write. Yes I do know that everyone is sorta out of character, but that's what makes it fun. And yes it did take me like months to write because of my stupid internet connection. Oh and reviews are cool.***


	7. Chapter 7

**Jared-JareBear45**

**Sam- Alpha01**

**Quil- Claire'sBear3**

**Paul- Paul960**

**Embry- Embry08405**

**Seth-CullenBuddie7**

**Leah-WolfGirl2**

**Alice- CullenCutie22**

**Jacob- WolfMan16**

**Esme- Sexy Momma32**

**Carlisle- Sexy Doc 300**

**Emmett- 2sexy4myshirt69 **

**Rosalie- Emmett's Chew Toy18**

**Renessme- Hybrid Chick **

**Jasper- GeneralControl**

**Edward- BellaIsMINE**

**Bella – ClumsyKlutz**

_WolfMan01 has entered._

_ClumsyKlutz has entered._

_BellaIsMINE has entered._

**ClumsyKlutz**: Ok listen is there any other way we can sort this out?

**BellaIsMINE**: YES WE AGREE! WE AGREE!

**WolfMan16**: GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY HEAD!

**ClumsyKlutz**: What are you guys talking about?

**BellaIsMINE**: It's a way for you to truly decide who you want to pick

**WolfMan16**: Yes it's almost like a sing-off. Here are the rules: Each contender must sing about the object of question and how they would treat it. Then the object of question gets to decide who the object wants.

**BellaIsMINE**: DON'T YOU DARE CALL HER AN OBJECT. And Jacob thinks he's going to win.

**WolfMan16**: I know I'm going to win!

**ClumsyKlutz**: And how is that?

**WolfMan16**: My great-great grandfather had to do the same thing. And he won.

**BellaIsMINE**: Well I guess the times are changing.

**WolfMan16**: We'll see OLD MAN! Meet me and the pack in a half hour and be prepared.

_WolfMan16 has exited._

**ClumsyKlutz: **OH MY WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

**BellaIsMINE: **Bella leave me I have a song to think about

_ClumsyKlutz has exited._

_BellaIsMINE has exited. _

**Esme- Sexy Momma32**

**Carlisle- Sexy Doc 300**

**Emmett- 2sexy4myshirt69 **

**Rosalie- Emmett's Chew Toy18**

**Jasper- GeneralControl**

**Alice- CullenCutie22**

_CullenCutie22 has entered._

_GeneralControl has entered._

_Emmett'sChewToy18 has entered._

_2sexy4myshirt69 has entered._

_SexyMomma32 has entered._

_SexyDoc300 has entered. _

**SexyMomma32**: Do you children know about this?

**2sexy4myshirt69**: What exactly are you talking about mother dearest?

**SexyDoc300**: Guys, just tell us. Why have the wolfs invited us to some gathering thing?

**CullenCutie22**: Well… It's a way for Edward and Jacob to fight for Bella

**SexyMomma32**: WHAT THEY COULD GET HURT!

**GeneralControl**: Don't worry ma, it's a not fighting fight.

**SexyDoc300**: Jasper… I've been a doctor for countless years and that statement makes no sense.

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Carlisle… *facepalm*

**CullenCutie22**: Esme they are doing a non violent contest to win over Bella.

**SexyMomma32**: So no fighting…..?

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: No fighting.

**SexyDoc300**: Ok well let's go they wanted to meet us at 9:30 at the open field and its 9:25.

**SexyMomma32**: Let's go darling.

_SexyMomma32 has exited._

_SexyDoc300 has exited._

**2sexy4myshirt69: **So… I bet 500 that Edward loses.

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: I don't know Emmie he seems to really love him, I think he'll win

**CullenCutie22: **No I'm with Emmett Jacob also really loves her

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: But that's what I don't get! She's so ugly and gross and human. How could someone love her, let alone 3 people

**GeneralControl**: 3 people?

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Edward, the dog, and Mike Newton

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Yeah I know, I don't understand it either!

**GeneralControl**: Emmett you don't understand a lot of things

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Hey! That's mean!

**CullenCutie22**: Emmett just shut up and place your bet's for whose's gonna win.

**GeneralControl**: Edward

**Emmett'sChewToy18**: Edward

**2sexy4myshirt69**: Jacob

**CullenCutie22**: And I say Jacob so let's go!

_CullenCutie22 has exited._

_Emmett'sChewToy18 has exited._

_GeneralControl has exited._

_2sexy4myshirt69 has exited._

_*we can't write this an IM, so it's in regular names cause we're cool*_

**Jacob**: Hello thanks for joining us. Edward are you ready?

**Edward**: Yes

**Jacob**: Bella are you ready

**Bella**: To an extent, yes

**Jacob**: Ok then let's begin, Edward you start, then I go, then we'll see what happens. It should turn out interesting.

**Emmett**: And away we go!

**Edward**: Woman, such a delicate creature.

Every feature needs to be loved from the start.

Be tender and she'll surrender

Offend her and she will harden her heart.

**Jacob**: A delicate creature is something she ain't.

Better take it from me that's a women

That isn't an angel that isn't s saint

Better take it from me that a woman

She knows how to please and she knows how to play

Take it from me that's a women

Forget to honor, love and obey

She'll take you and break you and throw you away

That's a women, that's a woman.

She knows every move and she knows every trick

Take it from me that's a woman

How to kill with a word and cut to the quick

Take it from me that's a woman

How to look through you as if you're not there

Take it from me that's a woman

How to say no with a flick of her hair

She'll turn you and burn you and not even care

That's a woman, that's a woman

**Edward**: Faithful and true

That's a woman

Trusting in you

That's a woman

Gentle and constantly caring

Strong as the love she is sharing

When you look in the eyes of a woman

**Jake**: Look in her eyes you'll see nothing but lies

She's a woman!

**Edward**: And through the disguise of a women

**Jake**: Every word is the same she's just playing a game

She's a woman.

**Edward**: You'll see it all there there's romance in the air

**Both**: Nothing else can compare, that's a woman!

**Edward**: Women so soft and beguiling

She her smiling and feel your heart all aglow

And hold her

Lay her head on your shoulder

And hold her till you just can't let her go

**Jake**: Treat as if you just don't give a damn

That's how to handle a woman

Be more of a stallion, less of a lamb

That's how to handle a woman.

Keep her hanging around till she's ready to burst

That's how to handle a woman

Don't try to be bad, be the worst

Do unto others but just do it first

To a woman, to a woman

Be wise, be wary and be on your guard

That's how to handle a woman

If you feel like your falling you better be hard

Cause that's how to handle a woman

Don't let her get closer and don't let her in

That's how to handle a woman

'Cause if you allow it get under your skin

My friend that's the end cause you ain't gonna win

With a woman, with a woman

**Jake: **Look at her body and look at her move

Now that's what I call a woman

I'm thinking now I've got something to prove

Cause that's what I call a woman

All my moves are stolen here

I can't get through to this women

The pipes, the pipes are calling here

I think I could be falling here, for this woman.

WHAT A WOMAN!

**Edward**: Faithful and true

That's a woman

**Jake**: She couldn't be true she's just playing with you

What a woman

**Edward**: Trusting in you

That's a woman

**Jake**: Trusting in who, you just haven't a clue

What a woman

**Edward**: Gentle and constantly caring

**Jake**: Just let it be, this one's for me

What a woman

**Edward**: Strong as the love she is sharing

**Both**: When you look in the eyes of a woman

And through the disguise of a woman

You'll see it's all there

There's romance in the air

Nothing else can compare

That's a woman

**Jake**: Who would have thought I'd ever get caught

**Both**: WHAT A WOMAN!

***Ok I REALLY enjoyed writing that because I used my favorite band's song. The song is "That's a Woman" by "Celtic Thunder" I do not own them or the song. So I already know who's going to win, but if you're a girl I want you to say who you would pick, but not by character but by the words they sang. And if you're a guy, (I don't think any of them read this story but if you are) tell who you would sing like Edward or Jake. Thanks, and once again reviews are cool.***


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight.*

**Jared-JareBear45**

**Sam- Alpha01**

**Quil- Claire'sBear3**

**Paul- Paul960**

**Embry- Embry08405**

**Seth-CullenBuddie7**

**Leah-WolfGirl2**

**Alice- CullenCutie22**

**Jacob- WolfMan16**

**Esme- Sexy Momma32**

**Carlisle- Sexy Doc 300**

**Emmett- 2sexy4myshirt69 **

**Rosalie- Emmett's Chew Toy18**

**Renessme- Hybrid Chick **

**Jasper- GeneralControl**

**Edward- BellaIsMINE**

**Bella – ClumsyKlutz**

**CullenCutie22- ***vision* oh my. Oh my lord. He...he lost.

**BellaIsMINE- **HAH! IN YOUR FACE! I WON! *starts dancing around in front of jacob*

**CullenCutie22- **um Edward. Edward... EDWARD! You kinda lost.

**BellaIsMINE- **what you talkin bout Alice?

**CullenCutie22- **you lost. Like Bella chose Jacob.

**WolfMan16- **BAM! IN YOUR FACE YOU STUPID VAMPIRE!

**BellaIsMINE- **Bella my dear did you really chose him?

**ClumsyKlutz- **I'm sorry Edward but the way Jacob was mean and manly was just amazing because you're never manly.

**BellaIsMINE- **:0! I am too manly, like this morning I took a bath without my citrus bubbles!

**WolfMan16- **oh yea, motorcycle gang material right there.

**ClumsyKlutz- **I'm sorry edwoman...hehe...but I just need a real man in my life.

**2sexy4myshirt69-**damn boy she changed your name good!

**GeneralControl- **HAH! Em we gotta add that to the list!

**Claire'sBear3- **you guys have a list?

**2sexy4myshirt69- **oh yea all the burns that we make off of Edward's name we write down.

**Claire'sBear3-**that sounds like lots of fun! Can I help?

**GeneralControl- **duh! What do ya got?

**Claire'sBear3- **uh how bout edweirdo?

**GeneralControl- **not bad for a first timer!

**Paul960**- oh oh! How bout Edwimpy!

**2sexy4myshirt69-** I feel this is the start of a great new friendship.

_2sexy4myshirt has exited._

_GeneralControl has exited._

_Claire'sBear3 has exited._

_Paul960 has exited._

**WolfMan16**- so wait I really won?

**ClumsyKlutz**- yes darling, I need a man in my life and right now it's you.

**SexyDoc300**- Bella are you sure? Because now we can't protect you from that Victoria and whatever man she has now.

**WolfMan16**- don't worry doc, I'll take good care of her ;)

**Emmett'sChewToy18**- awkward...

**CullenCutie22**- oh! Rose let's go to this um new book club!

**Emmett'sChewToy18**- a book club? Really? No that sounds boring.

**CullenCutie22**- believe me rose! It'll be a fun book club! Be ready at 10!

_Emmett'sChewToy18 has exited._

_CullenCutie22 has exited._

**SexyMomma32**- a bookclub that starts at 10pm, that must be thrilling book, I must find out more! Goodbye darlings!

_SexyMomma32 has exited._

**Alpha01**- so now that Bella is yours Jacob, you bloodsuckers have til the count of three to get your no good butts off of tribe property before we make you.

_BellaIsMine has exited._

_SexyDoc300 has exited._

**Alpha01**- so now Seth about that name

**CullenBuddie7**- I'm changing it calm down.

_CullenBuddie7 has exited._

_Alpha01 has exited._

**WolfMan16**- so Bella now that we're alone...;)

**ClumsyKlutz**- yes let's walk to your house!

**WolfMan16**- but my dad's home... He'll interupt our "activities"

**ClumsyKlutz**- jacob...he's in a wheelchair...and he was always home when I used to come over.

**WolfMan16**- yea but dont you want to do some NEW activities?

**ClumsyKlutz**- ooo sounds fun, what kinda stuff? Mud sliding, rock throwing, tree climbing?

**WolfMan16**- uhh no...let's just get to my house or better yet my room ;) hehe and then we'll talk

**ClumsyKlutz**- sounds great!

_ClumsyKlutz has exited._

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***later on that night***

**BellaIsMINE**- oh my Bella! My Bella! Where for art tho Bella?

**CullenCutie22**- really Edward Shakespeare? You're so depressed you need Shakespeare quotes? And that statement doesnt even mean where is Bella?

**BellaIsMINE**- what's in a rose? By any other name would smell as sweet?

**Emmett'sChewToy18**- she didn't die you dumb thing, she's just with the dog.

**BellaIsMINE**- Bella! *sobs into pillow*

**CullenCutie22**- ok rose I think it's time we go to that bookclub

**Emmett'sChewToy18**- what are you talkin about it's in like 3 hours?

**CullenCutie22**- yea but I need to hit the bank!

**SexyMomma32**- I want to come!

**Emmett'sChewToy18**- how long have you been on here?

**SexyMomma32**- not so long but i want to go to this new book club with you!

**Emmett'sChewToy18**- okay fine but let's go I don't want to deal with Edward for much longer.

**CullenCutie22**- esme are you sure it may uh be different to what you're used to.

**SexyMomma32**- oh I dont care! But oh Edward darling do try and get out of the house and get Bella off your mind.

_SexyMomma32 has exited._

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**BellaIsMINE**- BELLA! *sob* I know what I'll *sniffle* do. I'll watch some mindless *sob* tv and get my mind *sniffle* off of her!

***back at Jacobs house***

**WolfMan16**- really bella? It's a 5min walk and you tripped litterly 23 times.

**ClumsyKlutz**- ugh! Shut up! You know I'm clumsy!

**WolfMan16**- yea but I didn't realize you were that bad.

**ClumsyKlutz**- how could you! You're being so rude right now!

**WolfMan16**- I'm really not...

**ClumsyKlutz**- that's it im going to my room!

**WolfMan16**- thats my room! This is my house!

**ClumsyKlutz**- I dont care! You can go sleep on the couch!

**WolfMan16**- really?

**ClumsyKlutz**- yea. And go make me a sandwich.

**WolfMan16**- awh hell no! I ain't nobody's b*tch!

**ClumsyKlutz**- what are you talking about you are a dog! Now roll over! Go fetch! Bad dog get off the furniture!

**WolfMan16**- I'm a wolf! A wolf!

**ClumsyKlutz**- whatever floats your boat.

**WolfMan16**- that's it im done!

**ClumsyKlutz**- done with what? My sandwich?

**WolfMan16**- you! You're rude! You're annoying! And youre just not hot enough to deal with it all!

**ClumsyKlutz**- how dare you! So what now?

**WolfMan16**- I'm giving you back to Edward!

**ClumsyKlutz**- what? No he's not man enough! And besides he won't even take me back.

**WolfMan16**- well that's not my fault so get outta my house!

**ClumsyKlutz**- no! How dare you! Wait no! Nevermind ill find, someone like you!

_ClumsyKlutz has exited._

**WolfMan16- **FINALLY IM FREE!

_WolfMan16 has exited. _

***Okay so the next chapter we'll go to the "book club" with Esme, Alice, and Rosalie. And as always feel free to be awesome and leave reviews! :)!***


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